Thursday, June 7, 2012

TV Ears Saved Our Marriage!


YOU KNOW US

 We’re blue sky.

  

WHICH IS AWESOME

Which is perfect.



BIG PROPS TO TV EARS

TV Ears saved our marriage!


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Petroleum Queen



WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CALIFORNIA

You never know who you’ll see.


DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT MEXICANS

Unless you’ve lived next to Russians.


NO CAR

No wife.
No house.
No kids.
You must be rich.


DESERT TRAFFIC

It’s hot:  90 at midnight, 104 in the shade.
Drugs, weapons, wildlife, petrified wood.


LEFT HAND ON A BOOK OF KAFKA

Two right hands typing.


EXPECT

Except.


FLAVORS AND TOPPINGS

So if you ever.
Just as soon as you cross.
David hasn’t quite.


FOR EXAMPLE

Just to give you an example.


WHAT IT COSTS IN DUBAI

Is what you pay here.


PETROLEUM?

The Maids of Petroleum! 
Their Queen!


YESTERDAY

Well, not yesterday.


PORTENT

High surf advisories
Are issued in
Mountain Time.


THERE’S A PRICE ON THE HEAD OF THE PAST

Hand me the gun.


WAIT

What?


WILD CAUGHT

There are not as many of us
As there once were.


YEAH I SEE YOU SOMETIMES

And I think is that?
What’s your name?
I think is that Juan?



 



 

 

Angelo's


A LUCKY WEEKEND

Etsuko killed a doe
While hunting with her mom.


LITTLE GIRLS

They remember that.


CAN YOU GO OVER NANA’S?

What did I just say?
You don’t have a Nana.
We don’t have a Nana.


CAN YOU PLAY IN THE BACKYARD?

Sweetheart, we don’t have a back yard.


SHRIMP TACOS?

Baby, we don’t eat shrimp tacos, remember?


SOCCER?

Where do you see soccer?


THE RIVER

Sheriffs are always fishing
People out of there.


PARKING LOT 10

People end up dead
In Parking Lot 10
All the time.


FINE RED MIST

Tears caught by
Hands thrown onto
Faces like clocks.


EMERGENCY MEDICAL RESPONSE

Jesus Christ.
Son of a bitch.
Oh fuck.


MARINE STABBED AT BEST BUY

Crazy bitch.


AND SHE WOULD COME HOME

And she would like do things.


I KNOW THE ANSWER IS B EQUALS TWO

But I was thinking the answer was
Like b equals minus two.


WHATEVER IT WAS

Landed her in jail.


THE MANAGEABLE 3RD DOWN

Power-I formation!
First down!
No!
Very close!


ANGELO’S
 
Under New Management.


GREAT FOOD COMFORTABLY ENJOYED

Behind four inch thick bulletproof glass.


WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADD

A shoulder-launched multipurpose assault weapon
To make it a meal?


HOW BIG ARE THOSE SLICES?

Pretty big.


GET THE SALAMI

Get two.


DRINKS ARE

I think
That way.


SO, UM

Like I said.


ALL OF A SUDDEN

Bam!


ONE-TIME YOUTH OF THE YEAR, DEAD

He was tough as fuck.


CALIFORNIA BURGER

It comes with fries.