Thursday, February 26, 2015

Planned Giving



WE’RE ASKING YOU TO UH

And actually I think uh.


THERE’S THIS WHOLE

I know huh.


I THINK WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE

Yes.


NO

Sí.
Pero.
 

WELL YEAH I UH WE

Kept nearly getting.


WHAT I’M AFRAID OF

Is see because.


I THINK TODAY LIKE

OK so.


SOME DUDE NAMED PEDRO

Every day.


OR ODETTE

But she.
Yeah.


THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT

But then I fucking went and I.


I DO

But it’s just.


OH NO WAIT

I’ll meet you guys.


WELL YEAH

Oh.


HE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME

OK.


I MEAN LIKE

Talk about traffic.


NO

A lipid is.


AS FAR AS

Yeah yeah yeah.
Absolutely.


THEN WHEN I CAME BACK

Before I came back.


I’M FAMILY

And yeah.


BUT SO BUT SO

Give me a ball park.


YEAH I GUESS IN LIKE

Where?


WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH OK

The only thing is.


ALL RIGHT SO

Actually. 
Maybe in a way.


I TOLD HIM ABOUT 6:30

I go.


YEAH THEY

No they.


AND THEN UH

Ultimately uh.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Too Many Elephants in the E-Z-Go



SELF-AWARENESS

The good cholesterol.


SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS

The bad cholesterol.


BUS TO EAST BEACH

Bus to West Beach.
Bus to beach dot com.


BAILIFF AT THE FOOD COURT

Got him some taquitos.


ARGUS RIDING THE LOCAL

All eyes for the Mexican girls.


AL-ANON IN ALGERIA

Still life with wrench.


NINTH HOLE COLLAPSE

Too many elephants in the E-Z-Go.


TROPES AND MEMES

Snoring hummingbirds.
Growling skateboards.
Like if you’re going toward Circus Circus.
But on the other side.


REAL CAMPING

Tents by the railroad tracks.


SISSY CAMPING

Tents at state campsites.


GOLF BALLS

Constellations on the practice green.
Scatterpoint graphs on the driving range.


MIRAGE

Carrot.


SEARCH

You put enough words in there
It’ll narrow it down.


TOUR DE FRANCE

True for me.
Not true for me.


GOOD NEWS FROM THE HOSPITAL

Bad news from the hospital.


INTREPIDITY

The best part of valor.


IRONS IN THE FIRE

A vast per chance.
An app perhaps.
I’m glad you asked.



Saturday, February 21, 2015

From the Abattoir of Experience

FOR THE RECORD

History generally regards my great grandfather as the very first guy to ever wear a hairnet in public.  Anyone else would have been killed, but my great grandfather was such a dude, people left him alone.


ELUDING THE MULTIDISCIPLINARY TEAM

Suckers work hard, fools plays by the rules, that’s my philosophy, although I wouldn’t know how to get to the food bank and back if not for my addictive personality. I drank myself into this situation, now I’m just going to have to drink myself out of it.


JOYS AND SPECIAL MOMENTS:  A MEMORY

Summer kicked late but hard, and a carload of us at the Silver Dollar Drive-in watched that hot surrender scene over and over, drinking hoof fluid by the acre foot until we couldn’t tell the Vandals from the Huns from the president of Liberia waving to the president of Gabon across the Gulf of Guinea, ears running up and down their backs like laboratory rats.  Wild asparagus couldn’t stop us.  But by dawn, and Teotihuancani tricks of physics and scale, we were nuzzling like deer on the 12th hole at the country club.


Participant observation

The girls in their persimmon red shorts and bright white blouses are running laps as the landscaper and architect talk with the district facilities director and groundskeeper about possible improvements to the athletic field.  Tomorrow is a holiday and there’s no school.


BOUTIQUE OF PURE REASON

I call it like I see it, the way Jane Goodall calls it like she sees it and pronounces it bubboon.  You can’t hurry love. You’d be putting Descartes before the whores.  And so it takes forever to get there, an abstruse mist hissing like serpentine gargoyles gone out of their stone, an audible graininess, the sorrow of Averroes dead in Marrakech combined with the whimsy of Bunuel dining alone, plates piled high with nudes.


Dialogue box

“I heard there was some trouble,” said the gringo in the wheelchair, looking at the keys.  He paused, as though expecting them, or me, to elaborate.

Finally, I said “My instructions were to deliver the keys.  I don’t know anything about any trouble.” 

We do,” said the Mexican standing in the corner.
 

NOCHE DE FOAM FINGER

I see the twins left their sexy underwear by the keyboard.  Margaritas were spilt.  A bucket of chicken.  So I start out conducting somebody’s Fifth, only to realize it’s really somebody else’s Third.  And it’s not until the seventh beer that I even realize I’ve been drinking, let alone approaching scherzo cum finale.


Compounds

The character for iron combined with the character for horse becomes the character for train.
The character for weeping combined with the character for God becomes the character for rain.  The character for morbidly obese combined with the character for media room recliner becomes the character for crazy glue.  The character for razor-tipped whip combined with the character for Yale sweatshirts from a thrift store worn by immigrant laborers becomes the character for globalization. The character for I hate being cold combined with the character for I hate crowds becomes the character for what is it about skiing?  The character for piece of shit combined with the character for where’s the money you owe me becomes the character for pay up you ugly-ass, crack-smoking motherfucker.


Hollywood BOULEVARD

He gazes east toward Vine, and then looks west toward the Chinese Theater. “This street isn’t worth a shit now,” he says, “and it never was.”


Geocaching in Port Bou

One of the caches was in a park near a tree planted in memory of a kid who was stabbed to death and his girlfriend who was raped before they killed her, too.  No more geocaching in Port Bou.


KICKING IT AT THE STUPA BEHIND THE SURFIN’ CHICKEN JR.

She’s prettier than the very pretty 235 I bowled last night, and will steal your heart like the night shift will steal your meds.  Her beauty calls like an unexpected aircraft carrier; her arms are mint silk, her legs like the History of Civilization by Will and Ariel Durant.  One minute she’s straddling you like a cooling tower at a nuclear plant, the next she’s ordering fries. She’s all about the cut or the serving size, and she doesn’t like old, cold or soggy.  In fact, she is very picky about everything, insisting upon not only good genes, but particular alleles at particular loci.


It’s not about turf

I don’t bang and I’m not into trajectories or contested terrain or margins or privileged narratives or any of the interstitial subtext informing pre-colonial valorization of post-Structuralist neo-Nietzschean (O)therness. I just like to fight.