Saturday, December 30, 2017

Maxi Mini


INSTANT SAVINGS

You’re never alone.



KITTY CHIN UPS

Super super cute.



ATHEIST

Non player character.



CONFESSIONAL

Box office.



LE FLANEUR

Languor is his business.



CUSTOMER CASH BACK

Friend of the friendless.



THE BABY

Ten months and into everything.



A GIRL NAMED BOY

You were friends in Head Start.



PHILOSOPHERS’ FEES

Depth charges.



THE TRIP

Fifty yellowtail.
Thirty white sea bass.
Ten anglers.



A BEAUTIFUL HOME

It’s still there by the way.



LOST MALE YORKIE

Alphonso.



PROPRIETARY TECHNOLOGY

Some outfit from Belarus.



PEACHES

Taking a break this week.



BED BATH & BEYONCE

Maximum strength buyer protection.



POST APOCALYPTIC WARRIOR

Globally inspired, locally sourced.



REVOLUTIONARY TECHNIQUES

For better absorption.



MODERN MEDICINE

“He’s dead but he beckons.”



BILLABLE HOURS

Me being me.



THOUGHT LEADER/BAR RAISER/DIFFERENCE MAKER

That middle child syndrome.



THE FUTURE

Dressed in absentia.



CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

Nationwide emergency brake pull.



CHRISTIAN WILDLIFE

Born again in captivity.



SHORT CUT

Hold the guilt key down while pressing the escape key.



STOMACH FLU

Bugging the shit out of me.



SALVATION

A reverse 12-step program.



NO ANNUAL FEE

Night sky filled with asterisks.



BARBECUE PORK RIBS

Every Wednesday.



NEW BLOG POST

Every Saturday.



INSTANT CANOPY

Just add water.



MAXI MINI


How did you know to look for me here?




Saturday, December 23, 2017

The Rio We Call Grande


CLOUDS AT DAWN

Purificators.



REDWING BLACKBIRDS

Cherried out.



CANDY APPLE SUNGLASSES

Look kangaroos!



CATARINA WAS SUPER EXCITED

Whoever she is.



I REMEMBER THINKING

Kindness is not a carryon bag.



THE HELMSMAN SLEPT IN A TUREEN

The actual rio we call grande was beside itself.



THE TOUR GUIDE WAS TOPSY TURVY

She didn’t have her proper mind.



THAT’S THE WHOLE CULTURE WITH EVERYTHING

If what I read’s true.



THERE ARE MORE OF THEM

Than there are of apricots.



THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

Good ones, too.



WRITE HER BACK

Tell her thank you.
Muchas gracias tell her.




Monday, December 18, 2017

IN THE MODERN ERA INCLUDING NOW


You just looking from your mobile phone
and searching what their problem.
Right now, choose your current ways
to get more information about your reserve.
It is most important to arrange you to
ultimately make your knowledge are still upgrade.


Saturday, December 16, 2017

Body Rushes and Head Highs in the Tri-County Area


THE GAME

Let’s just reset this puppy.



THE BITE

A fair number of good size rainbows.



I WROTE THEM BACK

And I said
Verdad. Así es.



YESTERDAY

No. Yes.
No. Today.



BRAIN TWERK

Critical theory.



BREAKING WAVES

Madder than a wet hen.
A line of white apsos
Falling all over each other.



A BEAUTIFUL HOME

It’s still there by the way.



PEARS PEACHES GRAPEFRUIT

You name it.
Lots of cherries.



A COVEY OF QUAIL

Q Q Q Q Q Q Q
Q Q Q Q Q Q Q



HORST HOYT

Took me a minute.



HALFWAY HUMAN

Not unlovely.



THE TESLA

Mom doesn’t want it.
But Dad does.



CLUB DE LOS ANGELES

Across from Starr’s pharmacy.



LIFE CHURCH

Next right.



STUCK IN TRAFFIC

The Louise Bourgeois interchange.



ODE TO A CARRY ON BAG

Outlived three passports.



HYPER-PASSIVITY

Maxi-veg.



SLO-PITCH SOFTBALL

Slo-kick soccer.



EXTRA AGED

Stimulates play.
Encourages euphoria.



EXCESS VOYAGER

Seriously good.



BLISS

During the courtesy reboarding process.



ALL IN ONE

Heart, brain and feeding tube.



BODY HOLY

The man stay you house.



ABUNDANT LIFE

Extra painkillers.
Scrambled egg whites.
Free shipping.



ITERATIVE BECOMING

I’m like oh.







Saturday, December 9, 2017

How It All Began

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Araceli and I met after college.
We actually had some mutual friends.



CHANTAL

Restrained yet uncanny.



ZEKE

Barn white and scraggly as a root.



VERONIQUE

Hidden bank fees.



SCIONYSUS

Third millennium BCE.
BFF of Gilgamesh.



BARBET

Deejaying dance battles, anniversary parties.



T’NEESHA

That’s a cute one of her.



MANSUR

He’s had a million back surgeries.



ZAIDA

Done daddy dirty.



GIANCARLO

Looks very much like Al Pacino, except with green eyes.



GAYLE

Hell on wheels with concealed lighting.



YOU LAERTES?

You?



LILY, ROBIN AND SKYE

The triplets.



MALIKA

Lost her left eye and her left hand in an explosion.



ROBERTSON-NAGY

Is he the one from Many Farms?



NANCY SANCHEZ

Just kind of star struck.



LORD GAGA

Ars nomo existum.



KYRAH

Whose hair apparently everybody wanted to touch.



ANGEL’S BOYFRIEND

He could barely stand.



MCKENNA

Took gold in barrel racing.



ELISABETA

Likes taking dessert in the parlor.
And you?



ME AND BASHIR


We did a long distance thing for two years.


Saturday, December 2, 2017

Traffic


WHEN HE TOLD HER HE WAS LEAVING SHE SAID

You can take the Tesla with you.
I never wanted that car.



TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE

No lives matter.



WHITE GUILT

A discontinued line.



THAT MITT

You got me from Azerbaijan?
Or wherever?
I hate it.



TRAFFIC

You heard me.



THIS MORNING SHE’S ALL NICEY NICEY

What’s going on?



I AM JUST LIKE

How weird is this?
This is so weird.
She goes out there like it’s normal.




I KNOW SHE’S A PSYCHO

Yeah she raged 45 minutes.
I mean raged.



THE LANDSCAPING GUY

I guess.
I don’t know.



THAT’S WHAT I TOLD MY FRIEND LIKE

My ex-roommate? I said
You know what?
I know and I don’t know.



SO I DON’T KNOW

Oh really?
What was his problem?



THAT’S JUST LIKE

My cousin.



HOW THEY GONNA PAY?

They ain’t got no job.



REMEMBER ABOUT A MONTH AGO?

Well anyway.



IT’LL WASH OUT SOME

But it ain’t gonna wash out all.



IT’S NOT JUST DOWN THE STREET, HONEY

It’s several miles away.



I’M SORRY

People are assholes.



YOU KNOW HOW KIMMI HAS REALLY GOOD SKIN COLORING?

Well.



DON’T TELL YVONNE

And don't text Rita.



IT’S LIKE OK WELL ALRIGHT

Lonely are the brave.



THEN THEY COME OUT THE OTHER DAY

No amount of sunscreen will protect you anymore.
Holy shit man.



HEY I’VE GOT A STORY FOR YOU

Are you ready for this?





Saturday, November 25, 2017

Team Meeting #165


WELL ALL I’M THINKING IS

OK so yeah.



IT’S FUNNY HOW LIKE

Plus.



ALTHOUGH I WOULD SAY YOU KNOW WHAT?

What I’m hearing more and more is.



BUT I’LL TELL YOU SOMETHING

And you’re right.



UNLESS YOU’RE JUST GOING TO GO IN AND SAY

Look.



AT SOME POINT

It’s just amazing.



WE MIGHT ACTUALLY

Which is normal.



I’M SURE YOU

No I uh.



OR MAY

May I guess.



SHE’S BEEN HERE

Like a hundred years.



OH YEAH

She knew.



AND IT WAS

You saw it.



RIGHT?

That’s what I mean.



NO IT WAS YEAH

It was.



WELL I DON’T KNOW BECAUSE

No, I know, why not?



THEN WE FIGURE

Eventually.



WHILE ON THE OTHER SIDE IT’S OH

World War Three.
As usual.



SEE THAT’S WHAT KHALID SAID

But yeah it’s a different.
It’s a whole new.



TURNING IT TO WHERE

Or tried to, to where you know.



THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING

And the fact that.



OH THAT’S

Interesting.



BUT THE THING OF IT IS IS

It’s one of those fine line things.



SERIOUSLY

And get this.



THAT OR JUST

OK so yeah.




Saturday, November 18, 2017

Disappearing Act


DEATH

The uncalled for servant.



SEVERAL ROOMS

Of nice furniture.



SHE WANTED TO DIE IS WHAT SHE SAID

So we said well what about Missouri?



MISSOURI’S A NICE PLACE TO DIE

It's what Vermont used to be.



WENT HOME TO BE WITH THE LORD

But when I got there the place was boarded up.



I SURE WILL

Have a good one, boss.



GOD KNOWS

I don’t know.



THE PEOPLE ARE HERE

To see about the steeple.



I SAID WOW

I said really.









Saturday, November 11, 2017

A Lot of Everything


I ALWAYS GET LIKE NERVOUS WHEN

Orestes brings his hummingbird act
To the discount outlets.



LIKE YOU SAID

Who doesn’t?



ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DOWNLOAD THE APP

And boom boom boom.



WE’RE HERE

It’s kicking.



SO IT’S LIKE IF YOU

Hands free or whatever.



THAT’S A REALLY BIG DEAL

By the way.




I’M ON THE LOOKOUT

For the Danish National Radio Choir.
They’ve turned up missing.



IT’S A LOT OF EVERYTHING

And something else.



I HEARD ABOUT THAT

Not too long ago.



A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT

Aha!



THAT’S EXACTLY

That’s my whole philosophy.



I CALLED DINESH

To discuss what was discussed.
And it was a discussion.



FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT

And I’m not terribly, either.



IT DOES

It can.



THE THING ABOUT US IS

By the time we get there.



I MEAN IT’S UNBELIEVABLY TRUE

I just totally don’t agree.



THE OTHER DAY THEY HAD ON SOME PREAPPROVED GUY

He made a really cool video.



THE SYSTEM HAS DETECTED A GENIUS

I thought hmmm.



IT WAS LIKE LOOK

Thank you by the way.



SO TOMORROW

I can wash my car

And not worry.


Saturday, November 4, 2017

Out East of Somewhere


PLENTY OF POPCORN AND EXTRA BLANKETS

Altar girls and atta boys.
Plus a walrus of law.
It popped up on the screen.
Two old fuckers and their cars.
Young moms getting their bodies back.
Dads walking Abys, MinPins and Labs.
Grab and go.
No nicks, cuts, or rashes.



BIO

Created in Chicago.
Product of the London and Zagreb schools.
Recorded in Tokyo.
Engineered in Madrid.
Mixed in Los Angeles.
Mastered in Quebec.
Remixed and remastered in Lagos.



MY PERSONAL PIZZA STATEMENT

I want to say first off
I tried but I couldn’t turn left.
If I could just you know—
Three bars, sometimes four,
Giving you the straight forward.
I’m on all screens.
I smoke therefore I stink.
You as well.



MAYBE SOME KIND OF A SOMETHING

Anyway so uh OK.
I’m not sure I think.
I keep waiting to see if.
I genuinely never thought.
So I basically am.
I don't know.
That’s just like uh.



MAKING CHANGE

At a million
Miles an hour
It’ll take
Ten billion
Years more
Than the current
Age of the universe
For me to get over this.
And ten is twenty.



MONSOON SERVICE

Seductive raindrops.
Bend sinister lightning.
Thunderous eructation.
Tribal fetishes.
Safari-grade cigars.



DEVASTATION

Devastation in the Ukraine.
Devastation in Iran.
Devastation in the Marianas.
Devastation in Japan.
Devastation devastation devastation devastation.



EIGHT FULL DAYS TO SAVE!

Prices slashed.
Bonus buys.
Instant rebate.
Assorted colors.
Mix and match.



QUAIL

Breast them out.
Wrap some bacon around them.
Throw them on the grill.
Janice was elected homecoming queen for less.
Delbert (not pictured) is her king.



THIRSTY FOR MORE SAVINGS?

You’ve always been down for us.
We’re down for you tambien.
Buy two get one free.
Any qualifying purchase.
Biggest blowout event of the year.



OUT EAST OF SOMEWHERE A TAVERN

Neon sign Sunday night.
Two deputies.
Two more deputies.
The bartender’s enrolled in Admin of Justice.
Dude I’m trying to get in officer school.



ALTHOUGH I WOULD SAY

What’s great about this
Is not so much that
But when I think back
Over the course of oh
The past several years.
It’s like I told Miguel.
To me you know.



Saturday, October 28, 2017

The Day the Rules Went Out the Door


I WONDER

I’m trying to think.



LIKE BECAUSE IDEALLY

There’s a whole system.



ONE OF THE THINGS

I want to always and if
You were me so would you
Do is I want to always. Exactly.



BUT UH THEY YEAH

They turned out cute.



I THINK ONE THING IS

I’ve nothing but both.



SEE THAT’S WHAT I MEAN

I’m telling you.



THAT’S JUST LIKE

My cousin.



I REALLY THINK HONESTLY

I mean yeah.



DAN

No. Dave.
Dave senior.



HE DOES THAT ALL THE TIME

Especially in the morning.



I KNOW

That’s the thing.
Exactly.



ONE MAKES JEWELRY

The other plays music.
Both teach.



BASICALLY I MEAN YOU KNOW

That right there.



YEAH I WAS LIKE

I mean non-reductive behaviorist or no.



THEY JUST THEY

I don’t know.



THE DAY THE RULES WENT OUT THE DOOR

Put that in your hat and smoke it.



I TOLD HER

You know what I think?



WHILE I IN MY MIND I WAS THINKING

What does visible mean?



OK AND THAT’S THE REASON WE UH

And he goes I know.



WE HAD WELL YEAH LIKE

A couple hundred acres.



I’M LIKE OH OK

So I have to go in tomorrow.



IS SHE?

Yeah?
OK.



THAT’S WHAT I SAID

And it’s the truth.



BUT HE WHATEVER

No yeah.



WE GOT OUR LITTLE UH

Our little uh.
Nuances.
Yeah.



SHE’LL BE HERE

I’d say Tuesday.



YEAH NO BUT

Oh yeah.
Yeah.



I HAD SO MANY PEOPLE ASKING ME

I mean that blew my mind.



BUT NO

But yeah.



SO YES


Absolutely.




Saturday, October 21, 2017

Whine and Cheez


IT BEGINS AT BEFORE

And ends just after.



SHE CAN BE KIND OF THIS PERSON

And this is where I think.



HE SAYS YEAH HE SAYS

Language is astonishing.



CATARINA WAS SUPER EXCITED

Whoever she is.



I REMEMBER THINKING

Kindness is not a carryon bag.



PACKAGES STARTING AT

An arm and a leg.



THERE ARE MORE OF THEM

Than there are of apricots.



THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

Good ones, too.



THE HELMSMAN SLEPT IN A TUREEN

The actual ocean was beside itself.



THE TOUR GUIDE WAS TOPSY TURVY

She didn’t have her proper mind.



OXYGEN MASKS DROPPING OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE SKY

I secured mine first before helping the Christ child next to me.



TALKING ABOUT

The whole lunch slash food thing.



I DO THAT WITH CHICKEN

And I always end up overcooking it.



IS THE SMOKER INCLUDED?

I think is the question I always ask myself.



IF YOU’RE TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THAT

Try the moon.
Or Mars.



I’M BETTER AT GROSS THAN FINE

When it comes to motor skills.



WHAT’S HER NAME WAS NOT AFRAID TO

How I wonder where she ares.



I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO CONVENIENCE

And to the technology that makes it happen.



THE EARTH IS HOTTER THAN ELEPHANT EARS AT THE COUNTY FAIR

And I’m in the beer garden.



HOPE THE SIZE OF AN AQUACADE

With twin blade action.



THAT’S THE WHOLE CULTURE WITH EVERYTHING

If what I read’s true.



I WAS THINKING THAT THE OTHER DAY

Who invented removable labels?



BITE DOWN FOR ME

Perfect.



YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO NEOPOSITIVE

About myself.



ANYWAY THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED

So then I thought hey.



WRITE HER BACK

Tell her thank you.
Muchas gracias tell her.





Saturday, October 14, 2017

We're Like Let's Move Here


A NIGHT IN EARLY AUTUMN

One of those like magic moments.



GREAT WHALES ON THE BUNNY SLOPE

A quintet of pianos spinning.



MY CASEWORKER

Who I need to get a new one.



ULULATING IN SITU

Sponsored by a dead man’s browsing history.



WHERE CELEBRITIES VACATION

We’re like let’s move here.



A FORD PICKUP AND A COUPLE OF AMISH BUGGIES

Running circles around structuralism.



STATE HOSPITAL FOR BEES

Acrobats in repose.



SYMMETRY

Is a residue of balance.



OUR LADY OF THE QUANTUM ERASURE

Crying in her albóndigas.



POWER LUNCH

Fresh squeezed pulsars.
Broccoli flavored florets.



ORANGE CHICKEN

Orange Lutheran.



SHARP MOUNTAIN RIDGE

This ol’ boy come running.
Oh my princess my baby.



THE LANDSCAPING GUY

I guess.
I don’t know.



WHITE FLY

Looks just like his grandpa.



TWELVE TRUCKLOADS OF GARAGE DOORS

With the cross of Jesus
Going on before.



A FAIRY TALE’S USE

So very brisk and bright.
Who around is the river?



BED BATH & BEYONCE

Maximum strength buyer protection.



THE CABERNET OF DR. CALIGARI

Black currant notes.
Black cherry notes.
Black olive notes.



A CREW OF PINGSTERS ON THE SARGASSO SEA

Some outfit from Belarus.



THE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER

I don’t know if she knew anything or not.



RELEASED

Ready to offend again.



PROPRIETARY TECHNOLOGY

Broke down just outside of Dar-es-Salaam.



NO ANNUAL FEE


Night sky filled with asterisks.



Saturday, October 7, 2017

A Random List


  • Your boss was on Jeopardy! In the red after the first two rounds. Ineligible for Final Jeopardy! Her majesty disinvited! Standing before the world in utterly humiliating helplessness as the “Think!” theme plays and the two other contestants continue. Now her board won’t take her calls and the lowliest of subordinates maddog her. Staff meetings have been cancelled. There are no daily touchbases, no webinars, keynotes or culture shifts, no blue ribbon committees, task forces, or roundtables, no retreats, no breakout groups, no brainstorming sessions, no resets, rethinks, reinventions, no more strength-based capacity building.

  • Deep down I tied my skull to the hitching post. My pants cuffs bunched at my ankles like a Shar-Pei, embarrassing if where you need to be is back the other way. But I'm nothing if not gender sensitive.

  • Situational biology meets discontinuous time: you’re pinging off some donkey honking signal, the donkey extraordinarily and exponentially querulous and haranguing, while femme-presenting partners piously pull clothes from the dryer, and stakeholders consult road maps. Oh, did you get a hold of Leo?

  • Tell you what. History is a jolly time hip-hop fabrication that abuts acres of pin down, pinup, proactive, Skyactiv, need to get my nails did melodic ciphering. Rich rolling hills of actor network theories plowed and plaited in braided rows like schoolgirls’ hair, girls who couldn’t do their homework because their dad was drunk and violent and they had to sleep at their cousin’s, their dad, a singer/songwriter who often left audiences embittered,  the songs memorable only for their awfulness, his voice felonious. Other items that have become scarce in the past few weeks include beans and chicken thighs. Shops that stock these items sell them in rationed amounts. Hey so I go in for surgery tomorrow afternoon.

  • Terra cotta polka dot bowtie and blue bell bottom bacteria tumbled through the recesses and high platitudes of screaming nature, tunics torn hell bent to toll roads, the great gate protocol of a howling, spitting, shitting, shrieking outdoors to which so many are in thrall, heedless of sneezing ladybugs and asthmatic dragonflies, an atmosphere of Aqua-net, a herd of pixieish moose with a goose drover (which is actually kind of cool). In my case, leaving my shoes on was a sign of respect.

  • Waiting for the van in front of Wal-Mart, I’ven’t the luxury of detachment, nor the expectation of unclassified highlands. I am affixed to physical attraction, forward positions, lines and curves, lines and points on lines. There’s a prurient interest in mixers That so supersedes what we are doing, but you’re lucky it was only tonight to tell you the truth. Even the barking dogs gagged. When did the norm become the optimum?

  • Living in an intermediate world of the centipede drum and bugle corps, orange and pepper kitties, whereby the a/c is talking to me in a generic sort of way and every leaf-laden limb is hoping for the best for everyone In a generic sort of way. So we should plan a weekday in March.

  • In fustian and motorized blubbering of 20 million people including the family across the street, dispatchers, customer service representatives, financial planners, insurance sales people, people living in and around abandoned schools, bowling alleys, and showrooms, warehouses, salvage yards, distribution centers, where railroad track spurs go off to the weeds to return to dust, male and female created He/She them, there is the sacrament of penance and reconciliation. The confessional is an old movie theater box office. The priest, almost always a female, sits on bar stool inside. (I use her as often as possible and can’t recall ever being less than satisfied; in fact, I’m almost always massively delighted.) The confessor speaks through an opening in the glass panel, as though purchasing a ticket to a movie that has been critically savaged.

  • Bundle your way to happiness, and careful not to trip over bodies or slip on any slick cartridge casings. No sense getting your christening dress dirty over nothing.

  • If I liked to eat finches and towhees and pine siskins and roadrunners and doves and grosbeaks and mockingbirds and orioles and hummingbirds and sparrows and scrubjays and white crowned sparrows and black eye juncos and California quail, I’d been in heaven here, super heaven if you add in rats, gophers, cats, and possums.

  • Her comeback was the insecurity of childhood: conceived on the Metro, born in the bathroom of a donut shop. She was proud of her grandfather, the only doctor in the valley; he kept his artist’s temperament swaddled in a businessman’s soul.

  • We’re on the ride and wearing solar ice caps, living in a forever wide parked in the middle of the Cascades, beneath the iterating faunal sheets of sound, man they have the tracks. I fantasize normal relationships and laundry innovations. Get the rosary beads, in so many words. When did family get codified? Do we know who the mother is? The cool thing about this is the disillusioned can’t see you because you’re a victim. So drop what you’re doing and call right now.

  • Contemplation of the debris of a busted schedule, eyes puffy like a soufflé, her last four digits impounding my imagination. Ah, the pungency of artless sallies! The air paint of birds!

  • My greatest fear—that I’ll be expected to believe the official absurdities while aging disgracefully, concluding with a relentless snarfulling, like a coffee maker concluding its brew. Although there’s pride in ownership of all the right devices, I thought waiting wise. But wise waiting may also be a toxic oxymoron.

  • He bought her a new set of tires for her car, showing paper as well as love. Word of mouth oozed from her fingertips.

  • Passwords and promo codes stuck in my head like the ax in Trotsky’s. Ax not if you got the trots! Ideas route and rumble through my brain like a Snap-On truck selling tools to mechanics at body shops and garages and service departments.

  • Director of audience development at the home of great TV, the absolute best, this guy knows just how to be hilarious; crazy for Botticelli, crazier for El Greco. No one has worked more tirelessly. Hailed by the garage sailing community, his reach is hyper, deep into starry nights, doubled then sealed with triple strength bubble busting pain relievers, and all we have to do is work through lunch. I wonder if that’s him there giving us the eye? And why does he walk as if the floor were wet?



Saturday, September 30, 2017

Tawtology

LOW CLOUDS

Amanacer sleeping late.



I HAVE A TWO O’CLOCK

Or actually I have a 12.
Do you have change for a 12?



TAWTOLOGY

I tawt I taw a puddy tat.



CHI-TILLA SKILL SETS

Class, elegance, and a shout out to pops.
In 17 languages.



BUTCH’S SOLAR PANELS

Dollar Car Wash right next door.



FUCK U

U bitch.



GRAPH

Laugh.



WANTED

Graves, blades, gloves, boards, bungee cords.



PRESIDENT ALBONDIGAS

Strikingly alive.



IT’S JUST THIS SISYPHUS THING THAT WE ALL DO

Triple action formula.



HOUSE OF GRACE

I need to stop by here real quick.



WRENCHING

There’s a hurt in every heart.



NEXT LEVEL

Next enemy.



SO HERE’S THE THING

I might know somebody.



SHE’S LIKE ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT?

I’m like shut up.



I’VE WRITTEN SO MANY BOOKS

There’s no need to read any of them!



GRAB ME A WATER TOO

Thanks.
Hey is this your phone here?



SHE SAID NOW I GET TO HIT YOU ON THE HEAD

It was so funny.



SO AND THEY ABOUT A MONTH AGO

You know what they did?



I THINK THAT’S COOL MAN

I think that’s fucking awesome.