Saturday, August 26, 2017

Your Gaze Has Been Forwarded to an Automated Staring System

POET

All station stops are brief.



GROM

Staying stoked.



CONFESSIONAL

Box office.



PEACHES

Taking a vacation this week.



UNIVERSITY OF WEATHER

All the degrees you need.



PUGILISTS AND FOOTBALLERS

Acting queer and poststructural.



CONSENSUS BUILDING

That’s my jamm.
Gets me deep in the feels.



A GIRL NAMED BOY

You were friends in Head Start.



BODY COMPOSITION ANALYSIS EVENT

Folks if we could form one line please.



BIG LOTS

Sick dope lit.



SEEKERS

Best available paradise.



CALIFORNIA

In name only.



ICE CREAM MAN

Approaching the makeshift morgue.



WOOLY CATERPILLARS

Boogying.



GHOST GNAT

Laughing girl.



INSTANT SAVINGS

I’m never alone.



ENTRÉE

Head on, rear end, or T-bone.



DRINKING FROM THE MIRAGE

Grinning like a Cheshire coyote.



VIOLIN STUDIES

String theory.



STRING QUARTET

Gridiron glory.



FIVE KIDS

Free puppies.



THE TRUTH?

I can’t handle the truth.



REGULAR COFFEE

I can’t drink regular coffee.



THE FLANEUR

Languor is his business.



TRENDY BLOCKS

On-air personalities.



ARE WE READY?

Say bye guys.




Saturday, August 19, 2017

Lines From the Tri-County Area

Five Halls of Fame You Probably Never Knew Existed


COIN LAUNDRY ON MOTHER’S DAY

He jumped up and changed the TV.



I MEAN HEY

Don’t get me wrong.



BEFORE MY SURGERY

My breasts were saggy and lumpy.
Now they are round and pretty.



BUT I THINK

You know.
Motor sports.



SECURITY GUARDS

Him and his wife.



BASICALLY HIS WHOLE THING WAS

Globally inspired, locally sourced.



HE PLANS TO MAKE MONEY SELLING SHAVE ICE

First you get yourself an 800-gallon tank.
And then you take
And fill it up
With 800 gallons of water.



OVER TIME

New whip.
New crib.



HE TELLS ME HE’S IN FIVE HALLS OF FAME

You probably never knew existed.



USED TO BE A HEADLINING ARTIST

Gone misdocumented and ununderstood.



THAT’S WHEN YOUR AUNT CALLED

I said to her.
I said.



HEY WHERE YOU AT?

Andale pues.



America’s Favorite Sweeteners


SWEETENERS BRING US TOGETHER

Along with sugars white and brown.



SURREAL

Really.



MIND BLOWING

In many ways.



SPLENDA IS YELLOW

And Sweet’N Low is pink.



YEAH

Yeah exactly.



EVERYBODY

It’s just.
You know.



THERE’S A BLUE PACKET

That’s Equal.



IT MUST BE

At least I hope it is.



IS IT?

I thought it was.


Saturday, August 12, 2017

Three Sequences

Le Chat


YOU’VE GOT TO TAKE IT TO A HUMAN FOR THIS GAME TO WORK

She tells the cat.



HE’S BEEN A CAGED LION

For a long time.



RESEARCH?

Is that what you’re doing?



WE WERE GONNA BUILD A HUGE UH

Remember?
A huge.
Like a.



HE BROUGHT IT TO YOU

He wants you to throw it.



HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO THROW IT

With spitties all over it?



JENNIFER WAS GONE TO PODCAST CAMP

Our daughter.
She kind of liked it.



WE GOT EIGHTH ROW

Just awesome awesome awesome tickets.



HEY

No claws.



THERE

See how nice you can be?



BOUGHT THEM

Super last minute.



I’M NOT AN IDEA COMER UPPER WITH

But I’m an implementer sine qua non.



YOU LITTLE SWEETIE

Yeah you’re a sweetie.
Such a sweetie.
No claws.
No claws
No claws goddammit.



WHAT DID YOU DO TO UNCLE GARY NOW?

What did you do?
Did he get you?



IF THEY’D THOUGHT ABOUT IT

They would have got married and that would have been it.



ANYWAY SO YEAH

Keep on rocking in the free world.




A Sighing Guilt Thing


AFTER THE PLENARY SESSION

I was talking to a lady.



WHEN CAN WE OR YOU OR I

The life coach training thing?



IT WAS TWELVE AT NIGHT

She’s like it’s twelve at night.
As far as I know and from what I understand.



THE FUTURE?

No, not really.



OH THAT’S RIGHT

You’re from.
You’re from.



SHE SITS

And does a sighing guilt thing.



UNTIL I REALIZED

Wait a minute.



BUT THAT’S WHAT YOU DO

Like people step off a curb.



WOW I KNOW

They had it on the news.




Lines from a Glad Bosom


I TOLD HIM

I said hey.


HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE

It was the swamp cooler talking.


HE TOLD ME I SHOULD WEAR IT MORE OFTEN

So what do you think?
Do I look good in black?


HE’S A FRIEND OF YOURS

I don’t know his name.
He said he was looking for you.


HE WENT AND GOT A HOTEL ROOM IN ALPINE FOR THREE NIGHTS


Hey you’re supposed to be in Alpine.


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Barbecue Season

Five of Five Knives


FIVE OF FIVE KNIVES

For killer.



BY NOON

They had it installed.
And they were gone.



THE BACKYARD BARBECUE

Of our dreams.



SHE’S WORKING

She don’t get home until later.



THAT’S HIS

Yours is coming.


Price Gorge and the Ditches of Cambridge


PRICE GORGE AND THE DITCHES OF CAMBRIDGE

Is nobody else’s barbecue can impressed me.



LIVING QUENCHED IN THE INSET ON THE MAP OF THE FOURTH DIMENSION

They got him on the bracelet.



TESTED POSITIVE FOR

Worlds within worlds.



THE BABY

Ten months and into everything.



AND ON THE SEVENTH DAY

Which was a Tuesday.



MEAT SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO REST

For five to ten minutes
After coming off the grill.



TALKING THAT KIND OF STUFF

You need to quit.



SMELL IT

See?


Dragonflies


DRAGONFLIES

Her brother in silver and her cousin in blue.



THEY WERE KIND OF CHASING EACH OTHER

On mini-bikes.



MY WILD CHILD

Like she flying.



THAT’S WHY I WILL NEVER HATE ON A LITHUANIAN

Doing their thing.



PLUS I GET TO EAT A FABULOUS MEAL


That looks like it should be on TV.